Upset by both the popularity and content of certain of its country's reality TV shows, China has adopted a new, rather severe set of guidelines aimed at containing the genre's excesses and negative messages.
Meanwhile, back in the United States, we have Gary Busey on ABC's Celebrity Wife Swap on Tuesday, and the fifth season of MTV's Jersey Shore premiering on Thursday.
The fifth season. Of Snooki, the Situation, and other members of their mindlessly misbehaving herd.
I don't want to be the subject of a modern Joe McCarthy Communist witch hunt or anything -- but in this case, maybe the Chinese are on to something...
In China, the latest international media firestorm has been generated by a reality-TV dating show called Feichengwurao, generally translated as If You Are the One. (A different translation, which has more of a proverbial sound, is If Not Sincere, Do Not Disturb.)
In the show, attractive young women stand behind lecterns, like participants in a political debate, while men seeking their favor step up top the mike, one by one, and describe their assets -- financial as well as personal -- in hopes of getting chosen for a TV-sanctioned courtship.
The program generated controversy, and prompted format changes, because the women ended up using their positions of power to be dismissive, sarcastic, even cruel.
In China, even with 50 million people watching (second only to the state-mandated official newscast), that was called unacceptable.
Here in the U.S., it's called The Bachelorette.
China's censors set down some rules, and demanded If You Are the One follow them or be canceled.
Among the rules, according to a story in this week's New York Times, are these:
"Do not humiliate and assault participants in the name of dating."
"Do not discuss vulgar topics involving sex."
"Do not hype materialism and other unhealthy, incorrect viewpoints on marriage."
Think of it.
Rule 1, in that list, would outlaw every episode of Jersey Shore ever filmed.
Rule 2 would wipe out every reality dating show in the history of television.
And Rule 3, if nothing else, would obliterate any TV reality show with the word Housewives in its title, or any Kardashian in its cast.
However, adopting a Communist rule, even in this one instance, may be a bad PR move.
Accordingly, I have my own suggestion, and fantasy, regarding reality TV as it should be presented and policed in the United States.
Imagine a television industry equivalent of either the heavenly gates of St. Peter, or the hellish gates of a tough airport security line. To get through the gate, and get on television, you have to provide a satisfactory answer to one simple question:
"What's your talent?"
If you're, say, Justin Timberlake, and your answer is that you sing, you dance, you act, and you're funny, come on through. Be on all the TV you want.
But if you're, say, Snooki, and the question seems like an unfair, unanswerable pop quiz, then you don't get to pass through TV's gates. Period.
Go sit in the audience, where you belong.
Marry a millionaire? That doesn't mean you have talent -- just money.
Pick fights whenever anyone's watching? In a boxing ring, with rules and a trained opponent, that may indeed be talent. Otherwise, especially with alcohol involved, it's just sad, stupid aggression.
Think of all the TV series, and so-called TV "stars," that a simple "No talent, no entry" rule would eliminate. Then think of all the hours of television that would have to be filled by other, better material.
And what would poor TMZ do to fill its time, and its show, each day?
Nothing.
That's my point.