Two of the judges from Dancing with the Stars learn which of their dance teams emerges as victorious in tonight's finale of ABC's Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann. I couldn't care less.
No, wait, I could care less. Tonight's also the premiere of NBC's My Dad is Better Than Your Dad, and there's no new TV show I could care less about than that.
No, wait, that's not true, either. Because tonight at 9 ET, the CW network presents the debut episode of Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious. If there's a more instantly dismissable new series on television, I can't think of it, and I certainly wouldn't want to watch it.
Girlicious is a spinoff of sorts from last year's CW time-waster, The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. That show spent a whole season winnowing a field of competitors to select one young woman to join the ranks of the Pussycat Dolls. Shortly after the finale anointed Asia Nitollano as the winner, she announced she'd rather launch her solo career, and said "Thanks, but no thanks" to the Pussycat Dolls job offer.
So if last year's Pussycat Dolls show pulled a season-long bait-and-switch, and not even the winner cared enough to stick around, why in the world would anyone swallow the bait and stick around for Girlicious?
I've seen the opening hour, and it's dreadful. It might be entertaining as the subject of a fatalistic drinking game - take a shot every time someone says "like," and you'll be dead by, like, the halfway point. But on its own merits, Girlicious has none.
Thanks, but no thanks.