[UPDATE Thursday 5 p.m. ET -- Bianculli gets his way! - DW]
After movie producer Brett Ratner made enough insensitive comments about his personal life and views to have him replaced as producer of February's Oscar awards, host Eddie Murphy, star of Ratner's Tower Heist, has walked as well. The new producer, Brian Grazer, has to find a new host, fast. Who's he gonna call?
Here's who he should call: Billy Crystal...
Crystal hasn't presided over the annual Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awards since 2004, but his eight times as host -- opening shows with deliriously entertaining filmed bits and musical numbers -- ranks him as the second most prolific Oscars host in TV history. Only Bob Hope, with 19 appearances, has hosted the Academy Awards more times than Crystal.
(Third in line, ranked just beneath Crystal, if you're wondering, is Johnny Carson, with five appearances.)
Last year's awards, co-hosted by the peppy Anne Hathaway and the dour James Franco, were a belly-flop, host-wise. The year before, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin did much better jobs as co-hosts, but didn't get a callback. In fact, since Crystal's last Oscars appearance, the only host to earn a return visit has been Jon Stewart, who hosted in 2006 and 2008.
Others serving in the interim: Chris Rock, Ellen DeGeneres and Hugh Jackman.
Most of the recent hosting assignments, especially last year's, were made with an eye to widening festivities to a younger audience, which didn't work. Clearly, it's time to regroup -- and there's no better person to save the day than Crystal.
For him, accepting the job for 2012 should be a no-brainer. Whenever Crystal took time off from his Oscar duties, it was out of fear of not matching his previous creative output. But he's benched himself for seven years now, so he should be rested and ready to play.
Besides, he would be coming in as the comedic cavalry, riding to the rescue and working with less prep time than usual. Whatever he did would be accepted gratefully under those conditions -- and if he hits it out of the park again, as he probably will, his legend as the best Oscars host ever will merely loom that much larger.
Who should host the 2012 Academy Awards? The answer, I say, is Crystal clear.
[Update, 5:25 p.m. ET Thursday: How cool is that? The same day I write this, Billy Crystal and the Oscars make it official. So why is The Good Wife still on Sunday? - DB]